What Do Children Expect From Their Parents?....

I was sitting at home; the place reeked of boredom, while waiting for the Covid19 Lock-down to end. It was really hectic, I’m a teenager, so basically it goes like this; one day I get into a fight with my mom, the other with my dad, and on one day with both of them. To top it all off I have a younger brother who keeps nagging me and then I nag him back. So one day my Nana gave me this topic to write about “What Do Children Expect from Their Parents?” Then when I sat down to write I thought, why not I include some of my friends’ opinions in this, because everyone’s thought process differs. Wouldn’t that be interesting to see different kinds of opinions on this particular topic? So here goes nothing…………

Ø Number one is Education, there was a stereotype, which still prevails in some places and that is the “Boy = Engineer and Girl = Doctor” but as we all know everyone has different preferences education is no exception. Some girls might want to study something like carpentry or might want to join the Army, but sometimes they aren’t allowed to. Sometimes the children are forced to study something which they might not like at all but because their parents wanted to study it but could not do so at their time. This applies for guys too, some guys want to study about Makeup and Hair care but their parents say that “eh you’re a boy, what will you do or earn by learning about this, it’s completely useless”. But there are so many male Stylists and ladies working in the civil services.

Ø Number two is Sharing secrets; many parents are extremely strict with their kids so much so that the children are forced to keep secrets from their parents, because they are that scared. This is never supposed to happen in a family, because then the child will start thinking that hiding everything is good, but trust me it is NOT! The child needs to have that much freedom and understanding that he\she can say any kind of secret or any sort of personal information to the parents. And also being secretive in nature doesn’t help you; it only makes people give you more and more attention.

Ø Number three is Relationships, many people say “young love does not exist” but oh sir! It does, many popular singers and actors all have had young love that means it does exist in some form or the other. Let me give you a few examples. Beyoncé had her first relationship at 17, another example of young love is Selena Gomez (18 years old) and Justin Bieber (16 years old) were confirmed dating since February 2011 but the relationship went on and off. Some parents are so strict that they don’t allow their child to even speak to someone from the opposite gender or more likely its fear that resides in them that’s something might happen to their precious child. Well then if you’re so afraid teach them some good self defense techniques and important pointers so that they can decipher whether or not the relationship will be beneficial, will it last etc.

Ø Number four is Nature of the child, sometimes the child might be a girl but they may feel more comfortable with boys and they might not like being all girly girl. The same goes for boys; they might like being around girls more than guys. The problem in this is that parents need to accept that, they have to let the kid be herself\himself and find their own normal or quirky way to fit in or if fitting in doesn’t work and sometimes it really won’t, let them stand out. Standing out is good, being One in a Million is good. Many parents push their children and sometimes start forcing them to be something that they’re not. That is absolutely unacceptable, why on earth would you force someone to be something that they’re not and don’t want to be. I really don’t want to say this but enforcing a particular religion’s rituals and practices on a child is also not fair for the child.

Ø Number five is Name calling. The children really don’t like being called names like Donkey, pig and what not, it’s really irritating for the child, when you’ve given the kid a name why change it and start calling them differently, that’s just mean! Sometimes when the parents get angry they start shouting at their child without even listening to what they have to say. Okay, when we are little, we should not give our opinion about stuff, but as we get older our opinion does matter at times. Like the parents can’t just get the kid a dress without asking the kid if he\she likes it. And then when the kid doesn’t like it the name calling starts off again.

Ø Number six is respecting the child’s Passions and idols and not constantly ridiculing them, for example if the kid wants to become a singer or a dancer like their idols they are immediately made to shut up. Like that’s really unfair, you say that we can follow our passions and you’ll always be by our side constantly encouraging us. But I really don’t think that’s what happening these days, sometimes the kid might not like sitting in a square shaped cage with files everywhere but might feel at home on a stage, they are forced to accept that it will never come true. And because of that they start to give up on their dreams.

Ø Number seven is if ever you are scolding the child, your aim is to make them feel sorry for their Mistake, but here’s the catch sometimes it won’t even be the child’s mistake but they get blamed for it. The scolding sometimes even goes as far as personally insulting the child. Scolding isn’t always good, if you want the kid to not do something, don’t scream and shout at the child you are only ruining your amazing vocal cords by shouting. Just explain it to the kid that it’s not good and it’s dangerous or if you believe in experience then let the kid get scared by it so at the least the kid will get a small glimpse of what really happens. You don’t have to constantly destroy your vocal cords for your kid, because the healing process is really sour, like Pepper and Honey is the best remedy for this but unless you want to destroy the bitterness receptors in your tongue.

Another thing is that for all that I’ve written above to happen without any obstruction or buffering, the so called Communication channel or as I like to call it the Comms. line needs to be open at all times, this means whatever we are doing or are going to do we have to at least tell our parents about it so that they don’t need to worry. Only if Communication is clear then the Expectations will get through and the Reality will also get through. So please no matter what, through all your ordeals please keep that channel available and open.

Oh my god, is this the end! Finally we have reached the destination after this long journey of ups and downs and a just a whole lot of words. But then again this was expected, reason being parents do expect a lot from us not just in education, but in a lot of aspects they expect good things from us, they expect us to prosper in our life, carry on their legacies, do good to this currently extremely silent world. Hope that we all get through this together. And as always my ever so precious readers comment down below what would you expect from your parents?

PEACE OUT!!!!

R. MAHIMA RAM

XI GRADE